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365, Movies

Day 091: Red Sonja

Family slain and raped by the army of evil Queen Gedren, a young woman – Red Sonja dedicates herself to learning the skills she will need to extract her revenge.
On her journeys Red Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen) encounters Kalidor (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Prince Tarn (Ernie Reyes) and Falkon (Paul Smith). Although reluctant to accept any help, she eventually is forced to accept in order to complete her self-appointed task.

Swords and Sorcery movie that does little to enhance the reputations of anyone involved.
I don’t know why Schwarzenegger’s role isn’t called Conan, perhaps so odd rights dispute?
Although the young Prince and his bodyguard add a humourous element that will grate on the nerves of many fantasy fans. But truth be told – these characters are the kind that are common in such stories. I’ve been reading and watching this stuff most of my life and though this movie is poor that is merely the choice of story and the application thereof.
It has good moments but too much of the film is cliched and poorly executed.
It is a shame that no decent female led pure fantasy, superhero or sci-fi has really worked and I hope to live to see one. Of course there are some decent female led horror movies but…
back to this movie. The costumes are pure teenage boy fantasy and the dialogue equally mature.
There could have been some decent battle scenes and there are some decent ideas.
Dropping the priestesses into the dark, with the only key to the door on the inside with them for example. There’s a decent “play” fight scene between Kalidor and Red Sonja.
Does any of this save the movie?
No, probably not.

Things to look out for:Vengence shall be yours“, the worlds worst armour, opening a door, ludicrously hummable tune (dum de de dum de de dum dede dum dum), “…in 13 days it could destroy the Earth in storm and earthquake…“, that swordplay, “I know you are a brave girl but danger is my trade“, Ronald Lacey again as an evil lacky, Pat Roach as a toll-keeper
Released: 1985
Certificate: 15
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brigitte Nielsen, Sandahl Bergman, Paul Smith, Ernie Reyes
Rating: poor movie with little to find endearing, Poor but can be endured
Part of the Schwarzenegger Collection.

Last note on these movies is the appearance in each of Sven-Ole Thorsen. indeed he seems to appear a lot in my movie collection. As I was watching these I noticed the face recurring and looked him up.
So far in my reviews he’s been in Raw Deal, Red Heat, Total Recall, Gladiator, though uncredited in many and also a stuntman in many others. It appears his career parallels Schwarzenegger’s.
I’m sure I have more…

About harlekwinblog

"Thoughts of an idle mind." Information Security professional.


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